Sometimes when I’m being very me I feel a hot river of shame roll through me. Being me sometimes scares me. If I’m not nurturing enough I question my mothering. If I’m too callous, I question my lack of empathy. It’s like there’s a constant goal post set next to me (that I partially invent) that’s trying to keep me on an easy, predictable path. What if being you is an unfolding saga that surprises even you, the director?
3 things you need to challenge in order to find your way in life
(especially as an entrepreneur)
Friendships – I’ve been paying a lot of attention to who my friends are and why. It’s a good sign when you realize that even friendships are decisions. You decide to invest in them and nurture them, or you decide to let them die on the vine. Either way you can’t like or be liked by everyone. It’s OK if an old friendship stops serving you. True friends will encourage you and stand by you no matter how many iterations of yourself you go through at their side.
The Pecking Order – If you work for someone, at some point you find yourself trying to fit yourself into a social hierarchy that aligns loosely with your salary, job title, and how much authority you have over others. You figure out where you “live” in this schema and then you either settle in comfortably for the long haul (death by cubicle) or you start to ladder climb, step on people, and politically make your way higher and higher up the totem pole (death by upper management). As an entrepreneur, though, you side step all this BS. Your sphere is wider, more complex, way more interesting. It really becomes you against you. How high can you raise yourself, how clearly can you hear the beat of your own drum? It’s not to say that the things you accomplish will be accomplished by you alone, but you’re building the tower, you’re hiring and firing the talent. You go home at night feeling the weight and the pride of what that takes.
Conventional Wisdom – As an entrepreneur you have to challenge it, you have to carve out your own path with a mother of a machete. You can’t let fear rule, you have rise above it, find the sun above the clouds. You can’t make decisions based on the approval of others. You’re steering the ship, not following the armada. That takes cajones (or in my case ovaries).
“Maning up” never felt so womanly,