Questions No Answers

Questions No Answers

Just when things should be all gratitude and fuzzy-holiday-spice, family life feels frenetic, messy and overbearing. I should be chill, on a bench, the cool wind blowing my hair, introspective. Instead I feel like I want to escape, tune out, lean away from all I’ve built.

So I’m gonna lean into these feelings by asking a few questions:

Blue sky, what can I envision? What would family life look like without TV, if I quit my job, if we let go of our nanny, if we moved to a smaller house, if our dog ran away and didn’t come back, if our kids learned to clean up after themselves, if we planted a garden, if we brought home chickens, if we planned to relocate to New Zealand when Mai goes off to college?

Exhale, what can I release? It can be tempting to hold on too tightly to people. Some energetic force, like an itchy, warm laser beam holds someone in your path and you feel powerless against it. How can you find relief from attachment if you don’t genuinely want it? Is the word ‘release’ enough? If you set someone free, will they come back to you? Is timing really everything?

Shake it off, how can I simplify? The objects in my life are literally overflowing. I need to rake them up, bag them up and donate the heck out of them. I’ll be able to breathe a bit deeper this way, right? How can I stop the constant influx of stuff into my living space? If I try to give away 10 things a day could this help? How can I make a concerted effort to have less?

“Wonder if you look both ways when you cross my mind”Tyler, the Creator

“It makes a huge difference when you wake in the morning and come out of your house – whether you believe you’re walking into a dead geographical location which is used to get to a destination or whether you’re emerging out onto a landscape that is just as much (if not more) alive than you but in a totally different form. And if you go towards it with an open heart and a real watchful reverence, you will be absolutely amazed at what it will reveal to you. That was one of the recognitions of the Celtic imagination. That landscape wasn’t just matter, that it was actually alive.” 

– John O’Donohue Poet, theologian, and philosopher

My best discovery of the week? On Being Podcast

Feeling thankful,

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