Slutty Beach Culture

Slutty Beach Culture

Beach culture is promiscuous. But I mean that as a compliment. In my teen years it was obvious, coastal girls lost their virginity the soonest. Boozy house parties, bonfires, unlimited access to marijuana—sneaking off to the beach for some no good was always an option. The most fun I ever had was with my gals in Del Mar. The first joint I ever smoked was “borrowed” from an out of town neighbor, us crazy kids having snuck into their upscale beach house.

3 ways the ocean makes you sensual

Touch – In suburban yoga, they want to honor your space, not touch you if you don’t want to be touched. On the coast there’s no personal space, because everyone’s sort of slutty anyway. Which is a good thing since sweaty, tan, sun-kissed bodies aren’t scared to accidentally brush up against other bodies with a sweaty hand or foot.

Sweat – On the coast the yoga instructor is sexy, she looks like she just rolled out of bed, she’s in her late 30’s but she’s wearing a crop top (gasp), she’s instructing like a beachy mermaid dominatrix, slathering her hands over everyone, demandingly correcting postures, not scared of her slightly overbearing, pungent femininity. In the burbs the teacher won’t touch you, she may appear sexy but she’s behind glass, you can’t smell or feel her.

Flexibility – You know you’re among the advanced elite when within the first 5 mins of class at Yoga Tropics people are already doing handstands. Who knew that down dog was just training wheels for a handstand? Never got that memo. What other exclusive pearls of wisdom has the suburbs blinded me to?

Yeah, I’ll be hangin’ out on the coast from now on. The burbs are too hermetically sealed and frankly too prudish for me. Gotta break the glass ceiling and dive into the waves.

Splashing you playfully,

These violent delights have violent ends,
And in their triumph die; like fire and powder,
Which, as they kiss, consume: the sweetest honey
Is loathsome in his own deliciousness,
And in the taste confounds the appetite:
Therefore love moderately: long love doth so.

– Friar Lawrence (Act 2, Scene 6)

Happy Valentine’s Day xx

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